My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
