my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
