kristin has been a bad kristin
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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