Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
