You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We need to get me chipped asap
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize