Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
