i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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