I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
