he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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