Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
