if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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