The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
