Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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