Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize