So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
