the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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