Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
