we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
