I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You can't just leave with hair like that
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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