i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
