drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My breasts were aching with rage.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Brb crying the tears of my youth
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
