Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
