So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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