Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Randomize
