mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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