You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
