Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
