Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I don't think brook has ever known best
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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