things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
