went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
