pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
