Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
