I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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