he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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