Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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