I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
