I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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