your parents love me but you hate me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Terrible idea I love it
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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