I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
