She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My vagina is officially offended.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
