I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
