After last night, I could never be a politician.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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