I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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