Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize