I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
