ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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