I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize