the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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