yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I understand Curling. That high.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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