Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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