he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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