i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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