I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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