try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
