i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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