Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
