on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
