I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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