She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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