tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so let's talk penis.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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