So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
