Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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