Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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