yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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