Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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