just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Drunk is a universal language darling
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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